Japanese Steakhouse: “I could do that myself!”

There’s a fairly large chance that you’ve been to a Japanese Steakhouse before. You know the kind, where you sit down at a huge flat grill, the chef comes out and whips knives and spatulas around his fingers, throws food here and there, and you’ve got yourself a meal.

When it comes to the part with tricks using fire, I’ve often thought: “I could do that myself!”

And I’d be wrong.

Last night I [Oh dear God, read more…]

Status Off-Line: Co-worker Panics

Those who know me have come to terms that I’m interfaced into the Internet almost in real time. eMail is always the best way to reach me. When I’m sitting in front of a terminal, whether for work or pleasure, numerous chat clients are active in the background. Even away from a machine, my phones and automated scripts keep some kind of virtual presence active of one form or another. As a result, friends, family, and co-workers can see my status, location, and reach me with impressively short response times.

Today something interesting happened.

Last night, I was working on a fairly complicated piece of code and had set up a rather complex environment that I didn’t want to have to reinitialize in the morning. Rather than shutting down the machine, I took all my instant messaging clients off-line, and this morning I didn’t start them up, relying on the built-in chat facilities of Google’s GMail.

However, as I was researching, I accidentally closed the GMail window unknowingly, and to the Internet, I went dark.

I had not realized how connected I had become, using chat and emails as a primary means for others to reach me. Well, that was until a co-worker came rushing in to see if I was alright with genuine concern.

He was fairly certain I was in the next room, his email didn’t get a near instant reply, and there was no way to reach me interactively. For anyone else, this would have been no big deal. However, my heart was warmed by this sincere response.

Yes, folks. If my Borg-like collections goes down, please check on me. I might have died or be in need of immediate medical attention.

Apparently, I Like My Women Dressed

This morning as I was leaving the house to go to work, I gave the wife a hug and a kiss goodbye. And let me tell you, she smelled awesome.

So, I stuck around an extra minute.

“You smell fantastic! What are you wearing?” I asked, plowing my nose behind her ear.

She thought, “Uh, nothing. Maybe it’s the laundry?”

I smelled the fabric of her soft shirt. Instantly the scent of wild flowers, babbling brooks, and summer breezes sent me reeling into fond memories.

Without thinking, I replied “Yup. That’s it. You should wear clothes more often!”

She went red.

Apparently I like my women dressed. I didn’t know that about myself.

A First Grade Observation

Water SlideSo some of our really cool friends who live in the neighborhood hold this amazing backyard party each year, in which they rent an enormous water slide that’s about as tall as their two story house.

The day after the party, their real friends head back over to help clean up. And that was what we were doing tonight.

As it started to rain outside, we all gathered the external lights, furniture, food, tables, and so forth. I made a run for a huge extension cord, feeling that electricity and water wouldn’t mix.

Their little girl decided to help me. And, while untangling the cord, she engages me in the most adult conversation that I’ve had with her in the past three years.

She begins, “So, how come you didn’t go down the water slide with me?”

“Well, we had some friends come over, and they wanted to talk.”

“I know. That’s all you do guys do is talk. It’s so boring.”

Remembering this feeling exactly while I was a kid, I thought I’d get her perspective. “Yeah, I know – what should we be doing?”

She paused, placing her finger on her chin. “I think you should do video games and play board games more.”

With a look that I had been given total enlightenment, I replied: “Oh my gosh, I feel like I’ve just been wasting my whole life away.”

“I know,” she agreed a little too quickly.

“Where’s you learn all this?”

She puffed out her six year old chest with pride. “I’m in the first grade.” And as I took in her achievement, she added “Yes, it’s true. I graduated from pre-school. I’m very, very smart.”

And together we wrapped up the rest of the cord, she carried it in, and I went down stairs to play video games with the adults. Honest to God, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.