At work we’ve had a new member join our team of geeks, and the better part is that she’s a woman. More importantly, she’s got a sense of humor and knows how to have fun. At one of our group meetings, I passed out cans of Flarp, which is a kind of putty that makes rude fart noises when you try to push it back in its container. She got one, and she uses it. Totally cool.
Valentines rolled around, and I thought it would be fun to send her a tongue-in-cheek valentine, just to poke fun at HR.
So, I opened Word, grabbed some clip art, and wished her a Happy Platonic Valentine’s Day, making her a custom card with a very strange graphic. The text read something along the lines of “You may have noticed this isn’t the traditional heart and red construction paper, which might convey the wrong message, so I’ve opted to send you a spleen on non-glossy typing paper.” In the middle of the page was a huge blobby spleen with gross veins sticking out — it looked like a medical journal sketch.
At the bottom I included a legal disclaimer that stated that my lawyer had advised me not to include any candy or presents with the card, as it may inadvertently be used as evidence in a class action law suit against me. I had even further added in small type a legal disclosure statement that indicated the originator was already happily married and that this card did not constitute an invitation for a relationship, advances, nor any emotional favoritism, and that such cards were only being distributed to close friends with a sense of humor, and the inability to hire legal council due to lack of financial backing.
They say it’s the thought that counts, and I discovered that it takes a lot of work to show none was put into it, but I managed.