Recently we went to Colorado to visit my sister who was having her second baby. Our job was to babysit her 21 month old, while she did the hard work at the hospital.
They were very kind in lending us their hybrid van and a baby seat, which allowed us to trek around town without being stuck in the comfort of a custom built home, trapped on mountain with spontaneously visiting wildlife, surrounded by nature and vast scenic panoramic views.
My dad sent an email asking if we could pick up a box of nice chocolate, so that when my sister got home from the hospital, she’d have something to enjoy. Sure, we could do that. Perfect excuse to ride into town.
So, we put the toddler in the van and drove to Safeway.
Now in Colorado, it’s dry. Very dry. So you have to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated. As such, my wife sent me on a mission to get the chocolate, while she hunted down the facilities.
So, I pushed the baby over to the candy aisle, then the cooking aisle, then the checkout counters, …no boxed chocolate to be found.
Then it hit me: try the florist.
As I got near the section, the toddler went nuts as we passed the stuffed animals. However, as we got closer, it was quite clear his real interest was in the balloons. And, since we already had a four foot mylar balloon tied to the shopping cart, I figured I’d head right to the service desk where I abruptly startled a woman cutting flowers that didn’t see me coming.
“Excuse me.”
“Wha?! Oh, yes. May I help you?”
“I hope so. I’m looking for boxed chocolates.”
“Did you try the candy aisle? We sell flowers, here.”
“Yes, I tried that, but no boxed sets. So I thought I’d have better luck here.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because this is the general ‘apology’ section, is it not?”
She pondered for a moment what I was getting at, and then the image of chocolates and flowers together hit her. “Oooooh!” she smiled, “What exactly are you apologizing for?”
I couldn’t help myself. It was evil. It was wrong.
I looked at the toddler, then back at her, and said: “I thought it was your turn to use the contraceptive.”
…she personally led me to the most expensive boxed chocolates at the front of the store.