Never Visit the DMV Again!

When it comes to describing the DMV, Dane Cook’s description perhaps does the most justice.

That said, I went in to renew my license today. It was my third try.

The first time I went to the DMV in Sterling, and it had a line of people wrapped around the building, despite the website saying it was a 21 minute wait. So I threw in the towel.

Yesterday, I took off work to go visit, only to discover that they were closed on President’s day. Something about the empty parking lot should have clued me in.

Today, I went to the one in Leesburg, VA, and was quite surprised to find the parking lot was pretty sparse.

It seems the advice of the day is wait until the day after a federal holiday, then go to the DMV. Your co-workers will be putting in face-time immediately after a holiday, and that’s enough to thin things out in the morning.

As I got there, there was a lady in a leopard coat trying to pull her huge SUV out of a parking space, but was having problems turning the steering wheel one handed while she talked on the cell phone. This just cements what’s wrong with drivers these days.

As I entered the building, a kid walked out cursing he hated the place.

But my experience was much different. I have to give the DMV credit where credit is due, and don’t think saying that doesn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

I was second in line at the Information center, and with two windows open was seen immediately. I got my number, and no sooner than it was literally in my hand, several windows down immediately called it. The information person walked me to the correct window.

All I said was “I’m here to renew my license and possibly get a vision test,” and instantly I had a form in front of me, highlighted fields, was handed a pen, and I filled in out in 30 seconds. The vision test was immediate and consisted of reading 12 characters and detecting blinking LEDs. Done. Passed. Finished.

I handed over a crisp $20 bill, got a receipt, and was told I’d have my picture taken in a moment. I barely had time to take my coat off. The picture was digital, and therefore quick. The license was printed and handed to me, and I was out before I knew it.

I then looked down at my license, jumped in the air, and clicked my heels. Why?

I WILL NEVER HAVE TO VISIT THE DMV EVER AGAIN!!!

The renewal date for my license is 2013. And we all know the world ends on Dec 21st, 2012.